Wrecker or Builder?

I just came back from a teacher’s retirement banquet in one of the large school districts in Southern California. I was invited to honor my friend who is retiring this year. While I was glad to be there, I was blessed beyond what I had expected. Hearing the stories of teachers and principals who had influenced thousands of children in their 30 or more years of service was refreshing to my heart. No one could have survived all those years of service merely for money! No one! Impossible! That came loud and clear in all of the speeches. It was their vocational passion and silent commitment that carried them through every day’s routine; dealing with their student’s emotional moods, their parents, changes in the educational strategies through the years and the demands placed on them as leaders of the community. Amazing! Living life with a purpose!

As I drove the 405 Freeway on my way home, my mind was flooded with the memories of teachers and people I have met through the years – people who built me up and people who built my kids up. I am the result of so many people that have influenced my life in positive ways! All the way from my incredible parents to teachers, professors, mentors, loyal friends, people at large and, most recently, my four awesome children! I also though of those who have tried to wreck my life! They did not succeed but, instead, helped me to grow and see where I needed to strengthen the building of my life and just get better!

When I got home I went to my file of quotes and interesting things people and friends send me all the time and located a poem. No author was credited for the poem, but its simplicity made my point. It’s entitled “Builders and Wreckers.”

I watched them tearing a building down,
A gang of men in a busy town.
With a ho, heave, ho, and a lusty yell
They swung a beam and a wall fell.
I asked the foreman, “Are these men skilled?
Like the men you’d hire if you had to build?”
He laughed as he replied, “No, indeed,
Just common labor is all I need.
I can easily wreck in a day or two
What builders have taken years to do.”
I asked myself as I went away
Which of these roles have I tried to play?
Am I a builder who works with care,
Measuring life by rule and square?
Or am I a wrecker who walks the town
Content with the labor of tearing down?

You see, it takes years, sweat, careful dedication and a sense of purpose to build anything; it takes intentionality. On the other hand, it takes a moment to wreck it! It takes vocational passion, a purpose, a heart, a committed mind, skills and professional expertise to build people, a family, a marriage and institutions. It takes uneducated labor, unrestrained emotions, anger, wrath, the winds of toxic influence, drugs, alcohol, envy and “bulldozers” to wreck it! It takes dedicated, consistent love over time on a teacher’s part to build a child’s confidence. It takes a bully’s destructive words to destroy the same child’s self-esteem. It takes years for a parent to love a child into maturity. It takes a wrecking, irresponsible act from the same parent to destroy it all. It takes years and time to build anything, but it takes only a few days to destroy it all; sometimes it takes simply one single act!

“Am I a builder or a wrecker,” I said to myself?

What do I do when I don’t get what I want? Do I see the challenge as an opportunity to build or wreck?

What do I do when my child doesn’t respond to me with respect? Do I punish or discipline? It doesn’t take a genius to reward good behavior or punish a bad one. Anyone with very minimum brain power can do that! It takes character to discipline a child.

What do I do when I love and my love is not returned? Do I keep building that relationship or wreck it?

What do I do when someone attempts to destroy my reputation? Do I build my inner life or do I wreck that person’s reputation?

What do I do when someone shines more than I do? What do I do when that person gets what I have always wanted to get? Do I build that person up or come in with a “bulldozer” and demolish his sense of self-worth?

What do I do when I meet someone who is clearly better at something than me? Do I build a relationship to learn from that person or do I throw mud at him because of envy and a competitive spirit out of control?

I got it!

A builder sees challenges as windows of opportunity; the teachers that were honored at the retirement banquet tonight were builders. A builder dreams and plans a building before it exists! He builds with a purpose and wants to see his creation standing the test of time. A dismantler or a wrecker sees problems in every solution and has nothing left after he is done. A wrecker destroys when someone is not “useful”; wreckers are consummated pragmatists! A wrecker’s favorite word is “NO!” because wreckers are negative thinkers and selfish to the core of their soul. A builder detects flaws and tries to do something to improve the situation; a dismantler sees problems and challenges in every solution.

I want to be a builder! What about you?

“You will find as you look back upon your life that the moments when you have truly lived are the moments when you have done things in the spirit of love.”–Henry Drummond